Oooo how I love the mornings… (Surely that’s a verse from a psalm??? :))

Anyway, thot I’ll share this with you. Something which I read in Henri Nouwen’s book on Christian Leadership which btw is an excellent read, thin but extremely loaded.

James always talks about relativism in our beliefs wherelse I’m more conservative and prefer to think in absolutes. It’s just one key difference in our characters. Hee. In this I think HN managed to put it well into words to find a balance:

"Thru the discipline of contemplative prayer, Christian leaders have to learn to listen again and again to the voice of love and to find there the wisdom and courage to address whatever issue presents itself to them. Dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with God easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject. But when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative."

It’s only when we know ourselves in Christ and is secure, we can be anything he wants us to be without going to the extreme to protect ourselves. Wow!

This is what i’m meditating on today.
 

Our conversation this morning when I went to get Sophie when she woke up:

Sophie: Mummy you outside?

Me: Yes I’m always outside waiting for you to wake up k? You don’t have to be scared when you sleep. (She sleeps in her own room)

Sophie: Jesus is with me? (ok she said something to this effect. I can’t rem her exact words)

Me: (Wow!) Yes yes! Jesus is in your heart and you don’t have to be scared.

That really really made my day! Last night we read about the Lost Sheep, about how God loves us so much, He would do anything to look for us, even dramatised it by looking for her sheep. We ended off the night singing

"Be bold Be Strong

For the Lord thy God is with you

I am not afraid

No no no

I am not dismayed

Coz I’m walking in faith and victory

For the Lord thy God is with you"

She remembered!

"But his mother treasured all these things in her heart." Luke 2:51

The desire of my heart is to write about the things of God but somehow writing about them superficially doesn’t quite cut it. Sometimes with all that is happening within me, it can be pretty overwhelming. I can only sit, wonder and pray. Today is one of those days. It can snowball into being worrying and depressive but thankfully reading from another source and of course leading me to read the main source (the bible) brought me back to "Do not worry…" Matt 6:25. At times, all else fails, only the Lord understands that we worry. But yet he says, "Do not worry… because your heavenly Father knows…."

I’m held by your love… upheld by your strength. This I treasure.

This is from yesterday’s My Utmost for his Highest. It’s beautiful and a timely reminder. It really tugs at my heart because I know the Holy Spirit says this is what I have called you to:- Holiness in daily dish washing, diaper changing and joy in the managing a little one who is starting to show her tantrums. If you can excel in this by My grace, you can excel in the darkest of places and times.

But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith . . . —Jude 20

There was nothing of the nature of impulsive or thoughtless action about our Lord, but only a calm strength that never got into a panic. Most of us develop our Christianity along the lines of our own nature, not along the lines of God’s nature. Impulsiveness is a trait of the natural life, and our Lord always ignores it, because it hinders the development of the life of a disciple. Watch how the Spirit of God gives a sense of restraint to impulsiveness, suddenly bringing us a feeling of self-conscious foolishness, which makes us instantly want to vindicate ourselves. Impulsiveness is all right in a child, but is disastrous in a man or woman—an impulsive adult is always a spoiled person. Impulsiveness needs to be trained into intuition through discipline.

Discipleship is built entirely on the supernatural grace of God. Walking on water is easy to someone with impulsive boldness, but walking on dry land as a disciple of Jesus Christ is something altogether different. Peter walked on the water to go to Jesus, but he "followed Him at a distance" on dry land ( Mark 14:54 ). We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes.

– No author assigned in CUT

For the past two years, we have been part of spiritual mentoring group under Tony Horsfall. Tony who lives in the UK, is the author of "The Call to Intimacy". The group is made up of people from different churches (we are the youngest in the group!) and we meet up once every 3 months when Tony is in Singapore.

As part of the course, we had to do readings, reflections as well as spend a quiet day/retreat each time Tony is here. The focus of this programme is to position us to draw us closer and experience the deep love of the Father.

I emphasize position because a lot of times we are unable to hear God because we’re so caught up.

Every retreat has been precious because it is such a luxury to be able to spend extended time, away from the constant noise and just to sit at the feet of the Father. To listen, to talk, to fellowship with Him. At each retreat, the revelation has gotten deeper and deeper.

Tony has been such a real representation of the Father heart of God. It just feels so good to be around him. James and I have been really privileged to be cared by him. I say cared because it is just so much deeper than being mentored or even led. Thank God for you Tony (I hope you are reading this! :)) Oh yes! And the group has been amazing company in this journey too. Everyone has been so humble and it’s great learning together.

YEP! We’ve graduated (even though we’ve been so bad at handing up assignments, thank you God and Tony for the grace extended) from the programme and we’re moving onto the next stage!

Psalm 1

BOOK I : Psalms 1-41

 1 Blessed is the man
       who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
       or stand in the way of sinners
       or sit in the seat of mockers.

 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
       and on his law he meditates day and night.

 3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
       which yields its fruit in season
       and whose leaf does not wither.
       Whatever he does prospers.

 4 Not so the wicked!
       They are like chaff
       that the wind blows away.

 5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
       nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

 6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
       but the way of the wicked will perish.

My current problem: I meditate on what people say/think more than what God says/think. Worry = Meditate

People who norm pray for me, pls keep me in prayer that I will get a breakthrough in this area. Thanks. I see breakthru coming coz God is faithful!!